Guest Post: Killin It

The 4Faces ladies @ nyfw

My name is Mutale Nkonde, Zambian born, British bred but my heart is in New York City. In December 2005, I packed up my worldly possessions moved to Bedford Stuyvesant, the Brooklyn home of Jay Z, Lil Kim and Biggie to join my Harvard Law School Educated husband, who I exclusively referred to as my man. I met this black American dream while in Japan teaching school children to speak my mother tongue and fell hopelessly into the idea of being with this black intellectual Adonis. It was an instant connection that led to a public relationship that took us through time and space, ending in a 3 day Zambian wedding feast, everything was just right. I was the Claire to his Cliff, the Bonnie to his Clyde. We were black, fabulous and doing to the damn thing. One thing led to another and within 6 years I was locked in a fierce custody battle, making regular appearances in domestic violence court and I am still standing. Standing on a faith introduced by prayerful African parents and developed through my God journey with Oprah, Alice Walker, Toni Morrison and Tina Turner. I stand in thanks for the breakdown of my marriage and the circumstances surrounding it. I have forgiven and deeply love my ex-husband for the role he has played in my life and I am working tirelessly to ensure that my family reconfigures and not splits. My children deserve a healthy, vibrant relationship with their father and my job is to facilitate it. In short ladies my mental strength, spiritual agility and refusal to let life get me down means I am killing it. By day I work in city government and plan ways to engage and delight my two young sons and by night, as soon as my children are safely with their father, I drink champagne served by emaciated cocktail waitresses in Manhattan’s private members clubs. I am courted by the men who stand behind the man because as a woman with a job, family and clearly defined life’s purpose. I have no time for the humiliation and infidelity that comes with dating the man.  

New York City found out I was single and embraced me, providing me with access to people I thought I would never met and demanded when life handed me lemons I made Lemon Drops.

To women over 30 New York singledom is characterized by Carrie, Charlotte and Samantha 4 friends who slept their way to life, liberty and the American Dream in the early 2000’s. While our shoe game is fierce and hair appointments take on spiritual dimensions that is not the New York City of today. Black fly girls look to blogs not Vogue for stylespiration, it feels like women possess the spirit of Samantha the most sexually adventurous member of the Sex Team and so tales of the punanie clutter our Facebook and Twitter Feeds. You’re as likely to meet your friends at a rally for social justice as an Obama watch party. 

NYC Hot mama June Ambrose

Our clothes tell our personal story so if you like me believe in the power of the pussy you may have the sex collection for the those times you are trying to seal the deal. The comfort series of hanging with the kids and then the business series for when you’re in your work flow. The colours and silhouettes maybe dictated by your body and skin tone but the clothes themselves reflect the inner you, the one only your mother and God know. Those are the people who kill it, the people who you will meet month after month, who will open your eyes to what’s really going on in New York so if you should come across the pond you won’t wander the streets like a hapless tourist because you’ll understand Gotham’s flow, falling into step with the fly boys and dapper gents you’ll meet along the way. This is who I am and who, I am challenging you to be. So grab your colour block fedora and join me on my way because … we be killin it. www.facebook.com/KillinItUK