I was blog stalking my favorite blogger nikia over at model liberation. Were she has posted about cyber bullying on many popular online outlets especially in blog comment boxes, she fears that alot of cyber bullying is conducted by women.
I've always thought that I had been fortunate enough to have not been victim of cyber bullying, but on some levels I have whether it underhanded bitchy comments, or being frozen out or given the cold shoulder by fellow bloggers.
Cliques on line just like in high school can be socially damaging, i went to an all girl school and i must say that girls can be mean very very mean! (sometimes unwittingly)
"Criticism is the judgement of the merits and faults of the work or actions of an individual or group by another (the critic). To criticize does not necessarily imply to find fault"
Constructive criticism is not the same as being rude, freedom of speech does not mean you have the right to be mean girls. Also this is a two way street, bloggers can not complain about cyber bullying or nasty comments when they are negative in there posts, "hot or not" type posts invite readers to pass a negative judgement on others and it can and often does get out of hand.
You could argue that we put ourselves out there to be critiqued but we do not put ourselves out there to be bashed, because as nikia said it can lead to real problems. So if you are an anon (anon seems to be where we get our most negative commentary) read your comment back to yourself ask how you would Feel if you found it in your inbox.
If you are experiencing cyber bullying I suggest you don't Feed the vultures, moderate your comments and don't post any nasty comments, also positivity will breed positivity so I urge bloggers do on to others....
On another note I have lifted moderation from Naturalbelle as some followers have had problems leaving comments, I know all Naturalbelle followers are respectful to each other, and give genuine constructive feedback, share idea's and advice. So let's keep the blogspere a happy positive place for all
please check out Nikia's post here and comment/follow
Hey Belle, i am an anon (obviously) and i love your blog! Know that you have at least one reader in the French Over Sea territories (Saint-Martin)! Keep showing us what you wear,, what you're inspired by and everything! Oh, and can you please do more videos?( or give cool british videos links? Im too used to am. accent)
ReplyDeleteTake care!!
Stephie G. (oooh, i'm not an anon anymore lol)
Hey Natural Bella I'm new to you blog and just want to show some support.
ReplyDeleteI love your outfits of the day so don't let the negativity of one deter you.
Anyone with half a brain can discern constructive criticism and just being plain mean (anon was just being mean); and we can all draw our own conclusions as to why someone would take the time to come on here just to be mean to you (maybe they our unhappy with themselves, who knows!?)
Anyhow keep doing what you are doing. I know it is a privilege that you chose to share yourself with us and I appreciate that you do share your passion for hair and fashion!
Si x
The internet presents a problem in that all commenting is faceless regardless of whether someone calls themselves Sarah, Cutenappy or anon. Somehow anon strikes fear in the heart of bloggers because it's a psychological thing where the blogger knows a faceless person who does not offer identification, is now perhaps attacking what is their personal world. Most blogs are very personal and critical or rude comments hurt. Even when someone does not mean to be hurtful, a lack of emotion, voice etc means that a constructive criticism can easily be misconstrued as a direct insult.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed a propensity for people to be vicious, rude, aggressive and a lot angrier when commenting on popular discussion blogs. It seems people can't agree to disagree without arguments and hurt feelings. Sometimes the lack of respect to a certain highly popular discussion blog owner on her own site is astounding. People feel they can tell her what is acceptable and unacceptable to post.
I also think some bloggers can be over sensitive since we know the internet is full of people under the cloak of anonymity who don't know each other and it is obvious that among this number will be those who get a rise out of hurting others (they used to be known as flame warriors or trolls) People feel invited into your world when you have a personal blog, show personal pictures, wardrobe contents, homes, loved ones etc etc as some do on blogs and youtube. This allows for people to feel they can say things to you that they would probably not ordinarily say.
I would not blog or youtube as I'm creeped out by the requests people get to show their boyfriends and do tags (esp IR couples) or straighten their hair. Obviously the net has created an ownership mentality towards bloggers and vloggers. Certain Youtubers take so much vitriol and hate on various forums where people have named themselves, are not anonymous and should know better. The world is just changing.
For those interested - here is an article from the observer on how the internet created an age of rage.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/jul/24/internet-anonymity-trolling-tim-adams
Charlotte - usually anon.
Great post, I talked about this on an earlier blog post on "Digital Mean Girls. I loathe the "Hot or Not" or "Who Wore It Better" sections on a lot of blogs because it does invite criticism and severe judgement.
ReplyDeleteI find that the internet shows us exactly who we are by what we say and do on it and for a lot of women it's not a pretty picture.
I also find that there is a lot of cliquish behavior among many bloggers and those who possess this type of behavior, I just don't read their blogs any more.
Bloggers really are too sensitive and it's a shame. You have to realize that you DO voluntarily put yourself out there and with the good comments, will come the bad. If you're not prepared for that, you really shouldn't blog.
ReplyDeleteOf course we all can have a discussion as to what is morally right or wrong. Most would agree that intentionally saying things to hurt someone is immoral, but can we really expect people to stick to the social contract? Most people will, but there will be a few who will breach it. You simply can't be idealistic about these things and expect no one to divert from it.
In short, this is just something you'll have to accept and I suggest you start working on it because more hurtful comments will surely come your way so it's best to desensitize yourself.
thank you all for the imput from all sides all very interesting points of view thank you x
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that this is a great post Belle. I agree with you that there is a clear line between constructive criticism and just being plain rude. If anyone is interested in finding out more about dealing with being cyberbullied, I recommend checking out http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-ib. I hope this is helpful.
ReplyDelete-Virginia